This Picture Sucks


and so do yours

#19. Open Source

Spring is in the air and, as such, the idea of sitting at a computer for days on end seems about as much fun as getting hit by a car. It’s hard to be angry when the sun is shining and the breeze is blowing, so the blog has fallen into disrepair. Can’t promise it’ll be better before summer’s over.

Supposedly, 2009 is the year of the Lulnix desktop (like each of the 15 years before it) but like a hot 35 year old virgin, we all know it’s bullshit. Let’s face it, when your market penetration falls below a typical statistical margin of error, it’s hard to get developers excited by your system. That’s why the answer to most open source photography questions is: Get a Mac.

Now, I’m not saying OS X is better than any desktop system out there (it is), or that open source operating systems (OSOSes) on the desktop suck (they do). What I’m saying is, both photography software that runs on open source OSes and open source image editing software break the laws of physics by both sucking and blowing at the same time.

The only half-decent app that runs on OSOSes is called Bibble. Bibble is still at 4.10, which wouldn’t be hilarious if Bibble 5 wasn’t supposed to come out in 2008. Right now 4.10 is a year old, which means if you own any camera released in the past 12 months (5D mkII, A900, D3X, D5000, etc) you’re SOL. The pro version comes in at $195, so for a whopping $50 less than Lightroom, you get a year old product with less support from a smaller company. Hey, but it runs on Linux! METAL BEAR POWER FIST PUMP! There’s also Lightzone, which I actually like, or rather I would like if it didn’t run like a 3 legged pig on a dual core system with 8GB of RAM. Developers, here’s a hint: Java isn’t for everything.

Open source users often fall into a reality distortion field that Steve Jobs could only dream about. You’ll hear things like, “I don’t need Photoshop, I have GIMP.” You’re not fooling anybody dude, GIMP is busted. There’s no comparison. Adjustment layers, 16-bit editing, CMYK? Hurrrr? Same thing with dcraw UFRaw in comparison to ACR, it’s missing a couple features. Like being able to zoom in… or sharpen. It’s all a bunch of hacked solutions to problems that have already been solved.

Do yourself a favor, get a copy of Windows, get a copy of Lightroom or even Photoshop Elements. Pretend that your time is worth more than nothing, and that shooting is more fun than post-processing your pics hours at a time. You might start to believe it.


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